Tonight I heard a group of three men speak to a large group of international leaders about the need for them to be mentors and pass their wisdom, experience, care, vulnerability and love to younger generations of leaders.
Each of them spoke extremely well, eloquently and persuasively about this need. They told stories about their lack of guidance in their youth, how their fathers didn't speak truth or affirmation to them, how their role models were all negative examples, how no one poured into them and how they missed out on the relationships that could have helped them along the way.
I have a different story.
Besides my parents, who have both been great examples and friends to me throughout my life, I think I need two hands to count the people who have poured into me and cared for me.
The first real mentor I can think of in my life was a coach in my youth group. She was a college student that spent her free time hanging out with awkward 12 to 14-year-olds like me. She was so fun and cool. I wanted to be her. But she wasn't some far off idol; she was accessible to me. She got to know me, asked me about my life, cared about whether I showed up to events and whether I was growing. She shared of herself, stories about her life and lessons she'd learned. She inserted herself into my friend group, playing games with us and pranks on us and laughing in fun when we joked with her or tried to get her back. She lived life with us, at camp and at church and those special times when she would pick us up for school and take us out to ice cream. She came to our level.
When I was in college, I became a youth coach because of her. She had helped me discover my gifts and strengths and pointed out to me that I was a leader among my peers, so I pursued leadership.
A handful of strong, wonderful, loving women cared about me, invested in me and helped me grow personally throughout high school and college. One mentor relationship that sticks out began in the summer before college. My friends and I were getting "kicked out" of youth group (as 17 and 18-year-olds, that's how we dramatically described it). Though we were in the phase of life that we thought we knew everything, we somehow had enough wisdom to seek out someone to lead us through the transition between high school and college. We asked her to lead a Bible study for us, but she did and has done so much more. She shepherded the beginning of our transition into adulthood and continues to check in on us, guide us, care for us, cheer us on, invest in us, lead us and ask us the hard questions.
I now work at a place that is intentional about leading and investing in younger leaders. I continue to be mentored professionally and personally. I've always known I was lucky to have these people in my life, but I hadn't realized how unique my situation was.
I recently invited a group of friends over to my apartment. When most everyone left, one friend pointed out to me that "there were a lot of older women over." I am sad for the young people who don't have the gift of older, wiser folks looking out for them, having their backs, guiding them, caring about them, asking hard questions, being vulnerable with them, living life with them, imparting wisdom, affirming them and more.
In the end, the men I heard share tonight talked about what changed when a mentor finally stepped in. I can say the same thing: my life is different because people who didn't have to took an interest in me and poured into me for my good. May fewer young people have to wait and pray and beg for a mentor. May more of us share and pass on the things we have learned and care for those who come after us.
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