I happen to be standing at church behind a woman I think of as much prettier than me. She is tall and thin, and I don't know if she has ever considered being a model, but she could be. She dresses nicely, always looks put together, and is, overall, very beautiful.
She is one woman of many that I have been jealous of over the years. One of many who, from my perspective at least, seems to have been born with an effortless beauty. One of many who I have wished I could look like more than I look like myself.
But last night at church, something changed. A sentence happened clearly in my brain; it was my voice, but it was not something I would say. It seemed familiar, but it was not something I had ever thought before. It happened the same way other thoughts normally happen in my brain, but it seemed to come from somewhere else.
Her beauty reflects the same God as your beauty does.
I had to sit down. The thought washed over me, expelling the jealousy. It was oddly sudden, but I wanted to keep experiencing the truth of this thought, the clarity it was offering, so I kept repeating it to myself. Her beauty comes from the same sources as yours. Truth happened in my heart, truth I should have realized before but never did, truth that was expelling the shadows of lies and brokenness and imperfection. I made her, and I made you; your beauty is not a competition, it's a cooperation. I grabbed my notebook out of my purse and wrote things down. I didn't want to forget this thing I shouldn't have needed reminding of.
We are the body of Christ. When one part is particularly beautiful, we are all beautiful. When one part succeeds, we all succeed. Anything good we do, have, or make, came from God, and he calls us to give it back for his glory. I have no reason to be jealous, ever.
I have written before about my comparison complex, how I may be content with what I have until I see someone with something better. I have noticed, though, it doesn't work just in one direction. I don't compare only when I come out behind; I criticize to feel right, I judge to feel better, I look down on to feel higher than.
The second case, puffing up and feeling better, is obvious pride. But the first is pride, too. When I am jealous, I am still making the world about me. When I'm jealous, I'm not being a good body member.
I've memorized Philippians 2:3-4 before, which encourages us to have humility like that of Christ, but I always thought the verses before stuck out a bit. I never understood how they fit in with the rest of the section until just now, when I read it in new light.
2 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
My paraphrase to myself: Is it helpful to be part of the body? Convenient sometimes, even? Does it bring you joy? How about fellowship with Christ, ya like that? Then fellowship the right way. Be a real team. Don't join in only when it suits you; don't be a part of this only for what you get out of it. Be together, really together. Be for each other, even when it's hard. Celebrate someone else even though it means you're not being celebrated in that moment. Because actually, when you're really together, you're being celebrated when someone else is, too, because your King is being honored.
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