I am enough today

I still hope for someday.

Someday maybe I'll meet the right guy. Someday maybe I'll love someone who will stay. Someday I hope I'll build a family on a foundation of love.

It's not someday yet. And I have to accept the possibility that someday may never come.

But today.

Today I show up. I give myself to what's in front of me. Today I do my best to fiercely love the family I have while I wait to build my own. Today I aim for courageous honesty with the people I love. Today I bear my soul and search for joy and dance in the face of adversity.

Today I am worthy of love.

So I hope someday somebody really sees me. I hope he'll say to himself, Finally. I hope he thinks I'm the real deal. I hope he won't be scared to be himself, afraid to be honest or intimidated by a strong woman who knows and gives of herself. I hope he won't run away, because he'll be the real deal too. I hope he'll stay through the hard stuff because he'll know even the most beautiful things need fertilizer and rain to grow. And we'll be two whole and healthy people doing our best to be the truest, bravest humans we can and fighting to make the world better and more full of truth and love and the real stuff. We'll upset each other and be in each other's messes and do imperfect, scary, risky, honest, real, hard life together. It will be hard, it will feel impossible at times, it will take all of us. But we'll fight for it because it will be real and beautiful. Together we'll fight for all the things that matter.

I hope for that someday.

But if someday never comes, I'll just keep fighting for love and truth and joy. I'll try to build friendships like that and continue to love my important people with the kind of love that's real and doesn't run and sits in the messes together. I'll love myself with the kind of love that doesn't shame or discourage but builds up. I'll keep voicing my insides and telling the truth, and I'll try to live with courageous honesty.

Today that's enough. Love is always enough.

Today I am enough for me.